Welcome one and all to High Five: The Podcast!
We are humbled and delighted that you’ve found us and whether you’re a new listener, someone who found us through our Benevolent Overlords at Project-Nerd, or a long-time Fiver that just wants to relive the good ol’ days of your favorite episodes, we are glad you’re here.
In our episode High Fiving Ourselves (Top 5 High Five Episodes) we did a bit of self-love and outlined what we feel are the Top 5 Early-On Episodes that represent what we’re about here on this show. That episode, we’ve learned, is helpful for new listeners and people that haven’t listened to every single one of our rants (how dare you, by the way) or gone back through our back catalog, so we thought we’d create this…
BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO HIGH FIVE: THE PODCAST
If you truly want to get a sense of what we’re about and where we’ve been, here’s where to start.
5) Episode 70 – Spoiled Rotten: Justice League
Sometimes movies suck. Sometimes, movies suck so bad you create an entirely new type of episode of your podcast about how much they suck. Justice League sucks that second kind of suck. Q & J sit down to talk plot details, holes, and spoilers about this super Zack Snyder disappointment, given that Q has seen it and J has not. Truths will be revealed, tears will be spilled, and no one in a thousand miles will be surprised by how poorly Justice League did in theaters. It’s a no-holds-barred, knock-down, drag-out super team-up in which one side (J & Q) joins together against all odds to battle an unspeakable evil (Henry Cavill’s uncanny lip).
4) Episode 56: Akiva, the Wonder Poop (Top 5 Worst Akiva Goldsman Movies)
In every lifetime, a plague attacks our society. The plague of our Hollywood lifetime’s name is Akiva Goldsman. Here on High Five: The Podcast, we love to love movies, but there seems to be an individual that always wants to stand in the way of our enjoyment by making movies so bad, they make us question whether or not we actually like movies. We could no longer stay silent on this walking travesty and put together lists of the Top 5 Worst Akiva Goldsman Movies. Why does Ron Howard keep hiring Akiva Goldsman to write his movies? What hope do we, humans with eyeballs, have to sidestep the nonsensical garbage that Akiva writes when he seems to be involved in everything that hits the silver screen? It’s a tough reality, but your hosts are here to help you navigate things.
3) Episode 24: Let’s Go To The Mall (Top 5 Mall Movies)
It’s time to dust off those Van sneakers and join J & Q at the Food Court Sbarro next to the Sunglasses Hut for the greatest Black Friday comedy movie podcast you’ll hear today. We’re counting down the Top 5 Movies Based In and Around Malls for a totally tubular episode the likes of which Tower Records can’t even compete with. There might even be a High Five Yahtzee in the works!
2) Episode 80 – Spoiled Rotten: Fifty Shades Freed
What do you do when you have press screener passes for a movie you know is bad and only 30 minutes left on your podcast recorder? We’ll tell you what you do, you fucking go see Fifty Shades Freed and then walk to the parking lot and record yourselves ripping it apart until the battery runs out. First, some context: not only did we know Fifty Shades Freed would be bad, but we also had no context since neither Q nor J had seen either of the first two installments or watched any trailers. Did that matter? No, it did not.
1) Episode 31: Case Designate 118.08: Look What We Found! (Top 5 Found Footage Movies)
[12:36A] The following audio was stitched together after the disappearance of two podcasts hosts, referred to here as Q and J, from [REDACTED]. The contents of this audio lead the government entities involved to believe it is a historical record of the Top 5 Found Footage movies of all time with the help of international [REDACTED]. From the woods surrounding Burkittsville, MD to the horrors of the Amazon to the national travesty in New York City, no great found footage film escapes discussion, with the shared #1 of [REDACTED].
And there you have it, the Top 5 Episodes from our archive of episodes 1-100! We hope you stick around!
