BURN AFTER READING
What you are about to listen to is Confidential and should only be heard with written approval from Mr. M. Our fearless leaders, Q “Snipper Dips” and J “Soderbergh Slut” are leading the team extracting the list of the Top 5 Heist Movies of all time from a guarded safe in the basement of Steven Seagal’s Summer home in Berlin. Currently, your particular skill of animal noise impressions is the only missing piece to our group, and we would like to cordially invite you to join us as we pull off a Glim-Dropper with a New Jersey Twist (the hardest heist known to mankind).
In preparation, please listen to the attached audio file as our fearless (and super handsome) leaders explain the goal of our mission, as well as talk about what they’ve watched recently and discuss another team member, codename: Jason Marsden. Like, seriously, they are super good-looking. If you would accept our invitation, after listening to the whole file, leave a positive review on iTunes and then light your underwear on fire in your backyard as a signal of your acceptance.
Sincerely,
Mr. None of Your Damn Business
