What do you do when you have press screener passes for a movie you know is bad and only 30 minutes left on your podcast recorder? We’ll tell you what you do, you fucking go see Fifty Shades Freed and then walk to the parking lot and record yourselves ripping it apart until the battery runs out. First, some context: not only did we know Fifty Shades Freed would be bad, but we also had no context since neither Q nor J had seen either of the first two installments or watched any trailers. Did that matter? No, it did not.

We could tell you about the lazy screenwriting, or possibly talk about how bad Jamie Dornan’s acting is, but we talk about all that on the episode, why would we spoil that for you now? We aren’t the screenwriters for Fifty Shades Freed, we know how to build tension. Get ready, because we’ll be spoiling the whole movie for you as soon as you press “play.” We’re topping from the bottom all over this crapshoot! #MarkWahlbergisELJames

Fifty Shades Freed