In every lifetime, a plague attacks our society. The plague of our Hollywood lifetime’s name is Akiva Goldsman. Here on High Five: The Podcast, we love to love movies, but there seems to be an individual that always wants to stand in the way of our enjoyment by making movies so bad, they make us question whether or not we actually like movies. After J & Q’s recent viewing of The Dark Tower, we could no longer stay silent on this walking travesty and put together lists of the Top 5 Worst Akiva Goldsman Movies. Why does Ron Howard keep hiring Akiva Goldsman to write his movies? What hope do we, humans with eyeballs, have to sidestep the nonsensical garbage that Akiva writes when he seems to be involved in everything that hits the silver screen? It’s a tough reality, but your hosts will help you navigate things.

When they tire of talking about bad movies, Q & J play the always popular game Food Poisoning or Akiva Goldsman Review. Spoiler alert: one of the hosts is MUCH better at it than the other. We’ll get back to talking about good movies next week, but we could no longer stay silent. You know what they say, “For Akiva Goldsman to win, all it takes is good podcasters to stay silent.”

Batman & Robin Bat Nipples Akiva Goldsman